Marrying for sexual pleasure

We've heard this debate over and over again. Is it okay to marry to save yourself from sin? Is there something wrong with covering yourself, and whomever you decide to become intimate with, by doing the "correct" thing as opposed to violating religious law? Or, should you fast, hold out, and wait until you find the man or woman who moves your heart enough to commit to long-term love and devotion- however long that may take?

I'm not a scholar or any sort of religious leader. I try to implement practical and honest advice from the perspective of not only a matchmaker, but also as someone with insight to the challenges everyday striving Muslims and other religious men and women are facing in this sex driven society. To that my advice is, use your best judgement and go with your gut for what works for you. If you know your struggle is sexual discipline while being single, and you sincerely want to live a righteous life, cover yourself ASAP, but use pure intentions and keep it real with yourself FIRST.

 

If you know your struggle is sexual discipline while being single, and you sincerely want to live a righteous life, cover yourself ASAP, but use pure intentions and keep it real with yourself FIRST.

 

No one can tell you how to feel, fast, or deal with the pain or pressures you manage when you're alone, out for the evening with friends, or battling during courtship. The only difference between the struggles of a woman who desires to cover with hijab but doesn't compared to someone who struggles with fornication, is that one struggle is clearly displayed for the public to see. On the other hand, the hidden battle has a greater punishment with your Lord, and that's not the guilt you want to live with.

 

The major issue with marrying to prevent one from sinful sexual contact falls where the greater issue of character resides. No matter how much you may want to keep yourself "covered", if your intentions are to merely use the other person for your own gratification and temporary fix for your personal issues, while disregarding their needs, goals, or desires for marriage, then your struggle is not fornication but a deeper character and pure love for the opposite sex you'll need to fix before marrying anyone, even your ideal spouse. Despite your sexual needs, if you're unable to commit to treating the other party with honor, respect, and willingness to bond with them in a way that exceeds your primitive nature; examining WHY they're so beneficial on a shallow level, and the need for the high you're looking to treat yourself to at their expense, really says about an inner issue you're ignoring should be your focus. Will marriages always last? Of course not. Actually, you have a greater chance of it not lasting than it turning into a Disney tale. However, actions are judged by intentions. If you're intention isn't pure when dealing with other religiously striving men and women, your insecurities are seeping into your love life in a traumatic way for you and those you invite into your playroom.

 

No matter how much you may want to keep yourself "covered", if your intentions are to merely use the other person for your own gratification and temporary fix for your personal issues, while disregarding their needs, goals, or desires for marriage, then your struggle is not fornication but a deeper character and pure love for the opposite sex you'll need to fix before marrying anyone, even your ideal spouse.

 

With that being said, marry whom and for what suits your lifestyle. I want all of my brothers and sisters to find someone who will help them get through this life, succeed, and support their goals and life vision. This life can be lonely. Sex is important. You need to be satisfied and guilt free while doing so. Just keep in mind that you're coming together for a purpose way bigger than yourself, your desires, and your image- you're doing it for your Lord. If you truly believe this, then make sure you're proceeding in a way that is intentionally pleasing to your Lord, and not using the statement as a cliche to get your selfish needs met.

 

And you are promised to get what you intend.

Make sure you're proceeding in a way that is pleasing to your Lord, and not using the statement as a cliche to get your needs met.


Is it okay to marry for sexual pleasure? Share your thoughts below!