Men, stop getting friend zoned and do this instead...
We received an email from a member of the High Quality Muslim Men group on Facebook. The member emailed us seeking advice about a woman he'd become quite fond of through online chatting and even a few coffee meetups. So far everything with their relationship over the last 5 months was great. He thought she was an extremely attractive, valuable woman who would make a great wife one day and deserved a real man to show her what love is, but she'd had so many bad run-ins with men he didn't want to take the risk and fall short, or even have his own heartbroken if she only saw him as a friend. The brother wanted to know how he could move their relationship to the next level and not risk losing her friendship?
Women rarely marry their friends.
There are lots of amazing, loving, masculine, quality men who are secretly in love with a woman they're very close to. These men admire and value their female-friend as a woman of value, and knows the ins and outs of her personality to give her the love and quality relationship she deserves. Men like this are often compassionate, strong, heartfelt men who don't want to rock the boat, or often value the woman so much they fear rejection or losing her altogether so they settle for a friendship when they really want to be her man.
Muslim men seeking marriage can confuse the desire to give comfort and support to a woman they're interested in with settling for the friend zone, often missing the mark to engage the sister they desire. She may want a friendship but you want marriage, and only on blue moons will a woman turn to her long-time friend and suddenly catch romantic feelings.
After implementing the advice below, he was able to get past the cautious, indecisive actions that got him placed in the friend zone, and move towards a courtship that has captured the sister's heart and motivated her to embrace him as a potential husband.
You see, there's a difference between having a friendship and being her friend.
Women want a man they can relate to, joke with, be honest and open with, but they also want someone who stimulates them. A man who challenges them and evokes passion. Some who displays his masculine power of action by leading her to love. Driving the vehicle too slowly because you're fearful of jumping in headfirst can be good at times, but this slow pace and focus on becoming a friend first may also ruin any chance you may have had of getting her heart and feminine desires aroused for you. You want her to desire you, not just feel comfortable with you. If you're simply a friend and in the friend zone, she's not viewing you are a man of desire.
Now, there may be a chance you're in the friend zone because YOU put her in the friend zone, in that case evoking desire is slightly different. Maybe you're not be available because you're in a relationship, not totally attracted to her, your career, or just not ready for a commitment. If so, when you're ready and willing to up the level of your relationship she'll eagerly snatch you out of the friend zone before you can say, "Do you see yourself with me?"
But if SHE's the one friend zoning you, you're just a friend, and you need to change that.
Either she only saw you as a friend from day one, or you missed the mark. In the beginning you failed to step up properly and put your foot down to let her know you're not just a friend. Perhaps you allowed her one too many times to confide in you about an ex or a guy she's interested in. You were too comfortable talking on the phone and less active with planning quality time. Too many casual conversations and not enough romantic discussions, compliments, or flirting? Or, maybe you don't exemplify the leadership and lion-like qualities to gain her interest and make her desire you. Whatever the reason, if you want her you must get out of the friend zone.
Try these tips:
#1 Cut contact
Disappear for awhile and make her miss you. Be sure that while you're gone 30-90 days, work on some area of your life to make you more appealing. This could be fitness, finance, or career.
#2 Stop being her shoulder
Being a shoulder to cry on because her grandmother is in the hospital, good. Being the shoulder to cry on because some loser is playing games with her, bad. Let her know you have no desire to hear her talk about other men as if you're one of her girlfriends.
#3 Put it on the table then walk away
Let your interest be known then walk away. Give her time to decide if she wants to be more than a friend, and if not, let her go. You don't really desire to watch her give her all to other men anyway, you can want to see her happy- from a distance. Sometimes women need ultimatums, too.
#4 Meet someone new
Sometimes you may have to make a woman jealous. Let her see how great you are to someone else. If she values you, she'll begin to miss you.
#5 Step up and show up
If she does open her eyes, make your move and make a big one. Let her see that yes, you can be friends, but you have way more to offer. Step fully into your masculine power of action and competition. Out do yourself and be the irresistible man you truly are.
*Bonus* Women love passion and a challenge.
Women need to chase you a bit as well. If you're throwing yourself at her feet you won't be as desirable. Man up and hold firm. Show her your alpha side and make her heart melt. By chase, we don't mean you make her pay for outings or for her to call you first, but keep a little mystery alive. Keep her heart yearning to be a quality woman for you with great communication and a comforting soul. She should receive what you give, and return it with fueling your manhood to be greater every day.
READ MORE ABOUT IMPROVING COURTING: How judgement ruins courtship
Have you ever been friend zoned by a woman you were interested in? How did you get out? Are you still there? Comment below!
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