Are you suffering from Scarcity mindset?

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The depressing feeling of their not being enough men or women for you to meet a great partner, or the belief that all of the “good ones” are taken, comes from the scarcity mindset. It was the scarcity mindset that originally led me to matchmaking, out of frustration from hearing so many complaining about the challenges they were facing with meeting a partner. Initially this intrigued me because I didn’t believe meeting a compatible match had to be such a huge obstacle and I refused to allow so many around me complain and nag as though they didn’t have a role in their struggle. Their role which led to the state of doom they lived in, was that of a belief of lack. Most with this mindset, if not all, suffered from a serious case of scarcity mindset. This belief system impacted these men and women, not just in relationships, but in other areas of life as well. Our most popular Courtship Code podcast episode detailed this belief system.


Scarcity mindset usually comes from a place of ‘not enough’ typically stemming from subconscious thoughts and beliefs developed overtime. These limiting beliefs often aren’t original thoughts. By spending time with those who have a scarce mentality, you begin to share this belief and embody this way of life. Thoughts and beliefs are contagious. You see the world through the lens that’s been created from your past experiences and the beliefs you’ve accumulated, and this is how you attract the exact experiences you want to run from. You believe options are scarce, you behave and act with a scarcity mindset. This could mean engaging with those who share this belief, refusing to change courtship actions or behaviors despite knowing what you’ve been doing hasn’t worked, constantly having negative thoughts around your value and ability to be fully loved in a relationship, or sabotaging a courtship with low-value behavior. It’s extremely important to spend time with people, such as the Match Society, who have limitless beliefs and can help you grow into the spouse you desire to attract. 


The way your mind works, no matter how positive you may attempt to think, it will always default to the beliefs it’s already made an agreement with. Taking time to intentionally Detox your thoughts and programming around your marriage and courtship options being scarce means diving deep inside, and creating a new belief system.


Here are ways to battle the Scarcity Mentality.

  1. Be clear on the partner you desire - Not knowing what you want in a partner with clarity and intention stops you from attracting the right one for you. You’ll find yourself in a cycle of incompatible mates and wasting lots of time because you’re going against your values and deeper rooted desires. This leads to settling and courtship cycling. 

  2. Get more Exposure - When you expand your network and grow your marriage and courtship options you won’t feel options are scarce. This will increase your personal value. You’ll raise your self-confidence and enhance your circle of influence.

  3. Do the inner work - Do you know when your scarce mindset developed? Did you always feel this way or was there a defining moment? Are these your beliefs or the beliefs of the people and community you spend time with? Getting to the root of your inner thoughts around relationships gives you the power to change the story.

What are your thoughts on the Scarcity Mentality? Leave us a comment below