Create His & Her Marital Home Bliss
Blog Contributed by Aidah of Aidah's Creative Life
Whether, she is moving in to his space, vise versa, or you’re getting a completely new space to start your marriage journey. You may soon find out one of your first lessons in compromise is designing a space. It’s important neither bride or groom loses their individuality, but also has a space both will enjoy and speaks to both of you as a couple.
Balance is Key in this case.
What does that mean? Well, you’re going to have to strike a balance with what you like as individuals. Really get down to the core of what you value in your home and what you’re willing to negotiate.
It’s a myth that men don’t care about decorating or adorning their homes. #Issalie!
Although they may not say it in those exact words, every man desires a space they feel comfortable in and reflects them in some way. In the Match Society we share special communication styles to make sure each person is getting their needs met.
Here’s a personal story. When I first got married, I thought I’d decorate our home the way I wanted, and my husband would not really care as long as it looked good. WRONG! I quickly learned my husband actually enjoys design and had some strong opinions on what he liked and didn’t like in the home. You might be shocked to find this out about your spouse as well. If you don’t believe me, try to paint your entire home pink and see the kickback you’ll likely receive (unless, of course, he really likes pink, and that’s okay). It’s also a myth that every woman enjoys the task of decorating the home. In fact, many women find it challenging and time consuming. Trust me, I make a living off this fact.
Now that we’ve dispelled these common myths let’s get to the solutions with 4 steps to creating a balanced home.
Communicate – Have a discussion, however brief, about what your perfect home would look and feel like. You might find out some interesting things about your mate! For example, she might love plants but he might not. This is a great opportunity to delve a little deeper and see how important your individual stance is. The main point is to get an idea of what you value, and how you can meld those together so you are both happy.
When in Doubt, Go With Neutrals- Neutrals can get a bad wrap. They are often deduced to being boring or lacking in personality. However, that’s not always the case. In fact, neutrals are a good way to allow different styles and aesthetics to live cohesively.
Add Personal Pieces- Whether you are getting all new things or utilizing previously purchased items make sure every single room has something both of you have contributed to. If in doubt on whether or not a space is dominated by one person, an easy fix is to make sure both people have added something to the space.
Compromise- The fact is, it’s not YOUR space. It’s a shared space. It should not look or feel the way your home did before you were married. You will have to compromise, A LOT. The key to compromise without regret is to make it clear what you really value, and be willing to give in on those things that aren’t as important. For example, He might really love a particular side table because it was something passed down to him. That item is very important and should be incorporated. However, the Black Panther Poster he got last week is probably an item that can be easily let go of.
The major takeaway here is making a home can be challenging but is very important. You will spend a lot of time together in your home, so make sure you BOTH enjoy the space which you dwell.