Do Alpha Men Marry Alpha Women?

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Asiya has worked her way to the top of her career and is super proud of all of her accomplishments.

A woman who is a true shot caller, Asiya thrives in circumstances where she can create a plan and find others to carry it out. That could be her man or co-workers. As long as she’s HBIC, Asiya knows her role and plays it well.

She knows how to dish it and take it. She loves structure, order, and most of all POWER. Competitive by nature, there's no mountain Asiya won't climb, and not a person she won't step on or move out the way to get to the top. This competitive and dominant drive has caused rips in her friendships and even romantic relationships, but that's because they weren't living up to their best or being real men. Those people, simply needed to step it up and go harder at life.

Oddly enough, Asiya is highly attracted to powerful, successful, well-composed men. Only, relationships with these kinds of men never seem to develop into relationships. Powerful men are initially engaged and intrigued by her go-getter nature, but that quickly fizzles out and Asiya overpowers them and must lead the way. Instead, Asiya does a better job attracting and keeping the attention of men who look to her for direction, and would rather support her plan than lead.

The thing is, Asiya thinks she likes and desires a leader, but that isn’t true. Instead, Asiya wants a man who looks like a leader; someone good-looking, accomplished, and intelligent, yet passive and indecisive in nature so she may stir the ship.

As much as she complains about this passive kind of man, this is the only kind of man she is capable of fully attracting, or so she has come to think. The relationship leaves her exhausted, frustrated, and even more of an Alpha woman than when she first entered it. A woman who lacks masculine-feminine energy balance will always feel exhausted and worn down in relationships due to an imbalance and unnatural disposition she is forcing herself to take.

Let’s look at a familiar example of an Alpha woman, Olivia Pope.

Millions across the nation have fallen in love with the amazingly talented, fearless, and at times vicious character Olivia Pope from the television show Scandal. She’s beautiful, extremely intelligent, and totally runs the country. The most powerful woman in the world, she makes the men around her melt (except her father), and can manipulate other women, even alpha women, any way she desires. Out of all the men who could’ve fallen into her web, she has landed President Fitzgerald Grant AKA Fitz. He’s handsome, charismatic, intelligent, and has a wonderful heart. A great catch on the inside and out. Despite the marriage drama and the mistress narrative, they have a beautiful love story crafted around power, politics, and sexual tension- every alpha woman’s dream.

Now, let’s look a little deeper at this relationship and the title of this article. You’re probably thinking, Olivia had the heart of an alpha man, the President, there’s still hope. So the question is, is Fitz an “alpha” man?

First, take into consideration how energy works. Being masculine or feminine in energy is not simply about accomplishments, career choices, or any outer attributes. In fact, a person can be extremely masculine or feminine on the outside (many play this card well), but their energy speaks to the opposite nature. Since opposites attract, the magnetic pull of a man who has more feminine energy will be more inclined towards a woman who has a masculine nature, than that of a woman who operates fully in her feminine.

There’s also the conflict of two partners who operate in the same space. For example: 

A feminine woman will reject a man who has feminine energy. 

A man who fully operates in his emotions will be attracted to a woman who lacks vulnerability.

Everyone is looking for their polar opposite. 

So although Fitz may have the outer workings of a very masculine man, his energy leans more towards the feminine, and displays why he is highly attracted to masculine driven women such as Olivia and his ex-wife Millie Grant. In fact, there’s even an episode where Fitz admits the women run the show and the men are basically puppets.

An alpha man can’t operate in the same space as an alpha woman. He will always seek out feminine energy and balance to couple with. He will not allow himself to be dominated.

The power dynamic of Olivia and Fitz or Millie and Fitz, are both of an alpha woman with her true partner. It would never work any other way. They both dominate, control, and manipulate the love of their life. All masculine energy. Remember how much it killed Millie to not have power? Any alpha woman would die a slow death not being the head huncho of the relationship. This of course, eventually led to divorce and Millie becoming President of the United States. Or even why she stayed in a relationship as long as she did that included a mistress, lies, and other drama - it kept her close to the Oval Office. There was nothing weak about her. She was a master manipulator and craved the game.

But a lion wants a lioness, right?

Of course! Being a lioness is not about being the head leader of the pride. She is a supportive partner who has her own lane and oversees the pride. She is strong and powerful, but not a director over the lion. She isn’t expecting her man to get down with her plan or for her to call the shots for the next move, she plays her position and does it well. Alpha men are attracted to lionesses.

So can you be assertive and accomplished and feminine? Yes! The goal is to find a balance in your masculine and feminine energies. We all have both. You just need to know when to tap into the right power source for the best relationship and to feel more authentic in your courtships.