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WHAT’S NEEDED

Journal and pen to do the exercises and log your progress. Some actions may require access to a phone or computer.

  1. Quiet space and time to complete the exercises. Each should take 15-60 minutes to complete.

  2. Journal and Pen to log and keep track of progress.

  3. Meditation and Prayer. I would highly suggest to take 5-15 minutes before every exercise to meditate and or pray to clear your thoughts and mind .

  4. Aromatherapy is great for connecting to your feminine energy and relaxing into the exercises. (optional)

  5. Binaural meditation beats to relax and assist with concentration. (optional)

  6. Support. You may need additional support as you go through this course. Participating in the private Captivating Courtship club group is a private outlet for program members. You can share your experiences, thoughts, and questions in the group.


LOW VALUE BEGINNINGS

For week one we’re going to work with your inner child and help you understand how to reconnect with you and show up as your authentic self. Not feeling like your core self disconnects you from real compatible matches, high value behavior, responding instead of reacting, and feeling divinely in your best energy.

Your inner child is who you were in your early childhood years. Before the loads of trauma, failed relationships, limiting beliefs, and low self worth set it. It is your most authentic self and who’ve you’ve lost along the way in life. What happens overtime is you’re constantly taking on beliefs and programming from other peoples’ experiences, beliefs, and the media. You begin to embody these belief systems and become more disconnected with who truly you are and develop into who you think you should or can be. Not being your true self means you’re also limited to having the relationships you feel deserving of on a subconscious level. This is what leads to low value behavior and seeking validation to feel worthy of the partners in your life.

An example of this is seeking people who appear as shiny objects or trophies, not because they value you and are truly compatible, but because on a subconscious level you need to feel worthy of that kind of this person’s affection and attention. This person you’ve appointed as a trophy will have power to trigger and validate your low self-worth easily, because your inner child already doesn’t feel valuable or good enough for them anyways. You will then respond with low-value behavior. We will talk more about this in the masculinity and femininity communication lesson.

Another example is consistently settling for relationships you know you deserve more from because you’ve picked up beliefs along the way that you’re undeserving or the kind of partnership you truly desire. You will linger in these low-value loves far past expiration because you lack the courage and confidence to set boundaries and leave. You’re waiting to be abandoned. 

Your inner child is also connected to the relationship you have with your parents in early childhood. Even if you believe your relationship with your parents was steady, there’s still some form of trauma impacting your subconscious beliefs. Perhaps you had an emotionally unavailable parent or a parent who was a workaholic? Or a very needy parent with a codependent relationship? Perhaps your parents had very limiting beliefs around the opposite sex and relationships that made you feel small? A very critical parent who made you feel not good enough for their validation? Even a parent who wasn’t available at all? Witnessed divorce or multiple failed relationships due to your parents choices, and now have preconceived beliefs about marriage laying low in your subconscious memory? Whatever you’ve experienced is lingering around in your subconscious mind, waiting to burst out in your courtships and dealings with the opposite sex. You must heal and nurture your inner child to become whole.

LIMITING BELIEFS

Beliefs, feelings, and thoughts deep within hindering you from connecting to your authentic self

Limiting beliefs begins very early in your childhood. From the time you’re an infant, you begin picking up ideas of what’s acceptable, who you are, and especially who you’re not. Just like programming received from the media, your loved ones, teachers, friends, and society has the ability to place limitations on you which you embody and carry through life. Even if you’ve accomplished certain matters or feel your conscious mind believes you can do and have anything you desire, your subconscious mind is sending a message which contradicts what you think you believe and the choices you feel you’re making. These limits are instilled deep within and communicate your self worth. Low value reactions are due to low self worth.

 

The boxes and limits you keep for yourself are set in place in order to make you feel comfortable and safe. They’re familiar and validate the programming you’ve received from the time you were born to early teen years. The thing is, consciously you may not believe or agree with these low-value limitations, but you’ve made an agreement many years prior, subconsciously, and continue to do so every time you encounter a person or experience that validates that belief. Your subconscious mind begins to scan and attract experiences that confirm the belief to be true. It acts as an involuntary filtering system on your behalf.

Limiting beliefs are often thoughts which start with:

Not enough or Good enough

I don’t

I won’t

I am

I can’t

I must

Fears which are often greater than reality and are not rooted in truth or present moment.

These limiting beliefs lead to:

Feeling unworthy

Causes negative thoughts 

Anxiety 

Combativeness 

Competitiveness 

Fear of abandonment

Misplaced Masculine charge

Misplaced feminine charge 

Sabotaging habits 

Repeat relationship cycles

Your inner child believes you’re deserving of incompatible people who validate low self worth due to childhood triggers and the relationship you had with your early childhood caretakers. Even with a high value man or woman your inner child will sabotage the relationship by reverting to low worth thoughts and behavior.

TURNING IT AROUND

Let’s talk about the subconscious mind. In short, your conscious mind makes decisions for your day to day tasks and may seem to be what’s driving your choices but in actuality it’s the passenger, however, your subconscious mind acts as a filtering system for past experiences and programming and is the real driver in your relationship choices.

The subconscious mind is extremely powerful despite being smaller than the conscious part of your brain. It holds all memories from your past, and is the default system you fall to when making decisions. Everything is funneled through your subconscious mind, including your relationship choices and behaviors. It’s why you can react without thinking about the current problem as if you’ve experienced it before. Or why you pick partners and relationships which feel familiar, that’s because your brain has filtered them as such. Your subconscious mind is attracting and focused on screening people and experiences that may remind you of your relationship with your parents, even if you don’t realize it. You probably unaware of the subconscious programming you have involving your relationship with your parents and loved ones, which is why it’s important to dive deep.

By creating new experiences through relationships you can train your subconscious mind how to respond and create a new story. It just takes intention and practice. Your new sense of awareness will create high value behaviors, boundaries, and confidence to attract and go after the relationship you actually desire.

There are several ways to reprogram the subconscious brain such as meditation and hypnosis, but we’re going to focus on meditation and journal exercises to explore inner child trauma.


DETOX

Take 5-15 minutes to mediate and pray before starting these exercises. Answer the questions in your journal. You can use binaural beats or aromatherapy as an option to help you to relax and recenter for clarity. You need to be as honest as possible. Dig deep.

EXERCISE 1 - What limiting beliefs do you have around relationships?

  • Think hard about what limiting beliefs you have about marriage, courtship, and relationships?

  • Where did these beliefs come from?

  • What kind of beliefs did your parents or family have around relationships?

  • What evidence did they have to support this belief is true?

  • As a child when did you first begin developing your beliefs around relationships?

  • What was your parents relationships like?

  • What cultural beliefs have you picked about around relationships?

  • Have you ever felt unworthy of love or marriage due to cultural beliefs?

  • Do you feel you should settle to obtain a relationship? Be honest

  • What thoughts around worthiness do you have around relationships? 

  • Do you truly feel worthy of the marriage you desire? 

  • Do you feel unworthy or not good enough for marriage? Be honest.

  • What experiences have you encountered that validates this belief?

  • What evidence do you have to support this belief isn’t true?

  • What are your friends beliefs around relationships or the opposite sex?

Rewrite these beliefs starting with, “I no longer believe…”


EXERCISE 2 - Obstacles are the Way

  • What are your limiting beliefs about the process of marriage?

  • Why do you feel this is true?

  • What evidence do you have that this isn’t true?

  • List all of the major and minor obstacles you believe are in the way of you getting married?

  • Why are these obstacles?

  • Do these obstacles make you feel less valuable?

  • How will you shift this obstacle to a new experience?

  • Have you made space in your life for the relationship you desire?

  • Have you made space in your home? 

  • What areas of your home do you need to rearrange or prepare for your marriage?

  • Have you made space from undeserving male or female energies?

  • What people do you need to purge from your life?

  • Why have you been holding onto to people who do not serve the relationship you desire?

  • Do you have relationships with the opposite sex you cannot keep upon marriage?

  • Are you prepared to purge them from your life to create space for your person to enter?

Rewrite the obstacles with a solution.

Example:

Work a lot

“I can make time for the relationship I desire”

Location

“My location allows me to travel and be more intentional about where I invest my energy.”

EXERCISE 3 - What Beliefs do you have around the opposite sex?

Think hard about what limiting beliefs you have about the opposite sex.

  • What was your relationship like with your opposite sex parent?

  • Were your parents ever financially, emotionally, or physically unavailable?

  • Do you tend to attract people who subconsciously remind you of your parents (often opposite sex parent)?

  • Do you react to opposite sex the way you would as a child to your parents when upset?

  • When did you first feel unworthy of someone of the opposite sex?

  • Do you find yourself seeking validation in relationships or courtship due to feeling unworthy?

  • How do you act in relationships or courtship when you need validation?

  • Have you ever acted out sexually for validation? If so, when did you first learn sex or physical attention makes you feel worthy?

  • Do you become anxious when you feel unworthy or need validation in a relationship?

  • What are the limitations you place on the opposite sex due to your beliefs?

  • Where did these beliefs come from?

  • Is this belief true?

  • What evidence to you have to support this belief isn’t true?

Rewrite these beliefs starting with, “I no longer believe…”



EXERCISE 4 - Discover Not Enoughs and other limiting beliefs - unlovables, and flaws

Think hard about what limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

  • What are the limitations you place on yourself?

  • Have your parents ever made you feel unworthy or not good enough?

  • Where did these beliefs come from?

  • Why do you feel this belief originated?

  • How has this belief caused you to settle?

  • What experiences validate this?

  • What evidence to you have to support this belief isn’t true?

Break and release the belief. Rewrite it in the affirmative validating your worth and what you’re deserving of.

These are your new affirmations for the next year.


NEXT STEPS

Proceed to week 2

Going through every exercise and lesson. Set aside time 3-5 days a week to complete the work but pace yourself and give yourself time to fully take in the exercises. If you feel overwhelmed or emotionally overloaded give yourself a break. Find peace in sharing with others, either your personal support systems or in the group. 

Special note* The next 30 days should be a true detox. Which means you may need to create distance from friends, family, or a partner to give yourself space to heal. Any media, forums, or music that resonates with low value or negative energy needs to be purged. This is important. You must make space for change to show up in your life.

Share with us any major shifts or results you experience. I would love to hear from you.


Zara JohnsonComment